security is a prison
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Your happiness can give happiness to others.
I knew a girl who loved working in a coffee shop. She loved going to work, and she loved being at work. It was where she was most happy. And I suppose because she loved it so much, and because she was happy working there, she was pretty good at it, too. She met a lot of people and made a lot of friends. Within two years she became the branch store manager.
And then she quit her job and started working in a trading company. Because her parents told her that there was no money, no prestige, no security, and thus no future in her coffee shop job. And she listened to her parents.
Who will take care of you when you grow old? This is the fear of the future that haunts many of us. And because of this, many of us seek and stay in jobs that provide us with security - jobs with money. Because we believe and we are told that money provides security and freedom.
But I believe, if you love what you do, if it makes you happy and brings you joy, then there is a good chance you’ll get security. I believe that when you are living your happiness, you are helping others also. Not just by providing them with coffee, a product, or a service. Perhaps just by talking with them, you helped them. You smiled at them or laughed at their jokes when no one else did. You were friendly and courteous when no one else was. And because of this, perhaps you were more important to them than you know. Perhaps you provided them with support, kindness, friendship, or even inspiration – just by being happy in your job. Perhaps because they knew you, they rediscovered that happiness is possible. By being a person that was living their happiness, you are helping to take care of other people.
Now imagine that you knew someone like this in your life. If one day, you were rich, and this person had fallen on hard times, would you not extend your hand and offer aid? Perhaps you would help this person find another job. Or maybe you would hire them yourself. And your motive would not be “charity” or “pity.” You would help them because this person was your friend, and this person would do the same thing for you – and in fact, this person already did, which is why you would offer your aid without a second thought.
Maybe you do not like to depend on other people; but do not be so proud to refuse aid. For as you have given, so shall you receive. And if you refuse to receive from others, then you also refuse an opportunity for others to give and give back to you. You steal an opportunity from them to know the happiness that can come from giving to you. So as you have helped others in their time of need, let others help you in your time of need. There is no weakness and dishonor in that - for in letting others give to you, you give others strength and honor.
Like the girl in the coffee shop, you know you have found your happiness if you are happy at what you do, and others are also made happier by what you do. Happiness doesn’t just make you happy, it makes others happier as well. If you know what your happiness is, then you are exceedingly lucky, for few people know. And this is because so few people actually seek. And those who do not seek, eventually do not believe that happiness is possible. To such people, happiness is only a dream - because they abandoned it as a dream.
If your happiness dies, a part of you will die.
For only you can know your own happiness - no one else will, so you must seek it yourself. So stand and fight for your happiness, or else your happiness will die. And if your happiness dies, a part of you will die. And this is the beginning of your unhappiness - because you gave up on your own happiness.
If you choose a job that doesn’t give you joy, you will not enjoy eight hours of every day, and five days of every week in your precious life. You will always look forward to weekends and vacations as the only time that is “your free” time. In a joyless job, you will likely find yourself with a joy-less life. Every day you will go to work with a reluctant heart, and you will probably go home every day with a tired heart, and your family will see it and feel it – even if you try to hide it. Of the stories you will share, only a few will be happy, while many will be unhappy. You will complain more, and praise less. You will feel more cursed, and less blessed. And because of all these things, there is a high probability you will become cynical and pessimistic about life. You will see the negative things in life because you are living a negative life. And this is what your family and loved ones will see you become, and they will be affected by your unhappiness, and will be less happy for you – all because you chose security over happiness. You are sacrificing your present to save a future that you cannot even see. And your unhappiness will affect all those around you – including the ones you love. Your unhappiness will add to their unhappiness, and to the unhappiness of the world.
But if you move towards your happiness, you help others, including the ones you love. How you live your life touches the lives of all those around you. Happiness does not serve you alone – it serves the human race also.
Security is impossible. Live with courage or fear. You must choose.
So live with courage. Because if you do not live your life with courage, you will live a life of fear. And fear is the path to cowardice. And a life of cowardice is a shadow life of quiet desperation devoid of joy. Live your life with courage, and your children will know courage and become courageous – and they will thank you for it. Live your life in fear, and your children will know fear and like you, learn to live in fear – and they will not thank you for it.
Which kind of person will be more taken care of by others in their old age - a more selfish Saddam Hussein, or a more selfless Mother Theresa? If you live a courageous life in the service of the happiness of self and race, trust me, you will be taken care of by the race. For in you, they will see the better part of themselves. You are not alone in this life and in this world, so you do not need to live as if it were so. But if you live as if every man for himself, for the sake of your own security only, then your chances that you will be taken care of by the race, are far less indeed. Since you have only taken care of yourself for most of your life, you may very well have to take care of yourself at the end of your life. Your fear that no one will take care of you will have become reality. And so we see that, your fears often bring to you what you most fear.
Helen Keller said, “There is no such thing as security in nature.” She said this because at the age of 2, she contracted an illness which left her both blind and deaf. There are so many negative things that can happen to us which we can neither foresee nor prepare for: a tsunami, a hurricane, an earthquake, a car accident, a crime, a cancer. When certain negative events occur, no amount of money can bring back what was lost. Nature is a dangerous reality - security is but an illusion that humans have created to deal with their fears.
Happiness does not lie in fear, but in happiness.
Look into the heart of anyone who desires security, and eventually you will see fear at the center. All those who desire security, are motivated by fear. Fear that you are in danger now, or could be in danger in the future. Fear that they will encounter suffering and death. Fear that what they have now, is not enough for later. People want to be rich because they are afraid to be poor. And they are afraid to be poor because they are afraid of suffering, hunger, illness, weakness, and helplessness. If your parents, lover, or spouse ask that you move towards security, it is because they are afraid of these things, and they project these fears onto you out of concern for themselves and you. But caring about what is best for you isn’t the same as knowing what’s best for you. If you let fear control you, fear will be your master. Instead of giving you freedom, security and fear will enslave you.
Security is a prison that you lock yourself in – because of your own fear, or someone else’s fear. Look around and you will see many people feel trapped in their jobs and their lives because of their desire for security and their fear of insecurity. They feel like prisoners – because they have imprisoned themselves. By sacrificing their happiness and locking it away into the future, they find themselves empty of happiness in the present. But searching for happiness in security is like searching for happiness in prison: for happiness does not lie in security - happiness lies in happiness. So live courageously for your happiness and that of the race - your happiness and security depend on it.
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