death is my friend
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One day I will die. One day my life will be over. When will I die? I don’t know. Maybe in 50 years - maybe tomorrow. Or today. Maybe when you read this, I will already be dead.
I looked inside myself, and I knew this to be true. Death is the first Truth of life. I looked inside and realized that one day, my body will die. As will my mind. And my heart. All of me will die. I saw that truth, and it was dark, and I could not see anything beyond that darkness. I believe the first time you look death in the face, all you see is a neverending darkness. And at first, I felt afraid. I thought, what is the point of life if it all ends in death? It seemed so meaningless.
But regardless of what I felt or thought, the one truth was still clear: one day I will die. One day, I will no longer be able to listen to music, smell a flower, or feel the wind on my face. I will no longer be able to look into the eyes of a stranger, to hear the laughter of a friend, or touch the hand of a lover. I will no longer be able to connect with another human being, or the world. Because one day I will not be here, there, or anywhere.
Every day I carry death with me. Death is just on the other side of my life. It could come in the form of an earthquake, a bomb, a disease, a car, or another person. I can die at anytime, anywhere – and I know I will die somewhere, sometime. I feel death both outside and inside me. I look inside my life, and I see death. It is a part of who I am; I can not turn my eyes away. I know that it is always there, and I am a part of death. Death exists within all living things – in me, and in you.
But because I feel I will die, I also know that at this moment right now, I live. I know I am alive, and I feel alive. It is because of death, I know about life. About how to live. Why to love. What to value. For I see now that all the truths about life, they come from the first truth of death. Truths such as, nothing lasts forever, and all things end – and also that new things are always beginning. That part of loving is learning how to cherish and appreciate – and also how to let go. That everything and everyone you love will one day be taken from you – and also stay with you forever to become a part of you. That on the other side of joy, there is suffering; but through suffering, it is also possible to find joy. And that blessings can come in many disguises – including pain. These are just some of the truths I learned because of death.
So I do not wish to fear death, fight against it, or push it away from my life. I am very grateful now for knowing and feeling death every day - because death has shown me much of what I know about life. I can honestly say that anything I learned about love, suffering, life, or happiness, and anything that is good or strong inside me today, it is partly or mostly because of death. Death is neither a stranger nor my enemy; death is my friend.
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